He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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