you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize