Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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