you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
