If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
