HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
