Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
