just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
