oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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