I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
