i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
