She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
