just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
