Kiss
Puke
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
