and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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