they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
