i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
