Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
time to smoke my breakfast
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
