Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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