This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize