I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
