Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
