Dual....:-)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
