Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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