either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
