Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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