That's intense
Nicole vs. Life
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
