Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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