I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want nice things and good sex
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
