winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
