I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
