This is not my ceiling
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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