guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
