If i come over, it means nothing
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
