Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
