Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
