Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
