you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
