I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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