Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Enjoy the penises
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
