They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
