He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
