Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
