WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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