3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
