anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
