cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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