Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
this will be a night to untag.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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