Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize