Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
