Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize