I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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