you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Couch. On fire.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize