God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
