no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
