he shaved USA in his pubs
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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