I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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