I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
