i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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