I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize