you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
