Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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