Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hippo gnu deer
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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