You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you would pick up someone in the library
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
