so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
