i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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