11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
