You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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