But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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