My friends, they love my intelligence
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
