Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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