hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
