I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
