Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
