I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You ate ashes out of my bong
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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