Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
