just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
