Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize